Bart Simpson! Bart the One and Only A tribute to Bart Simpson
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Bart Simpson!

Lyrics
The lyrics of songs sung by Bart. I don't currently have them availible for download, but someday I will!
Do the Bartman || Deep Deep Trouble || Springfield, Springfield || Testify || A Tango Takes Two
---


Do The Bartman!
[Bland music plays. Suddenly Bart puts on a record with a faster beat and better tune. Bart appears behind the crowd
Bart: Yo!
[ Bart pushes through the crowd and earns a spotlight.
Bart: Hey, yo what's happening, dude?
I'm the guy with the rep for being rude.
[ Marge, Lisa, Homer and Maggie all watch, shocked.
Bart: Terrorizing people wherever I go,
It's not intentional, just keepin' the flow.
[ Bart takes off his blue jacket and puts it over his shoulder.
Bart: Fixin' test scores to get the best scores.
[ Bart throws his jacket offstage, hitting Principal Skinner squarely in
[ the face.
Bart: Droppin' banana peels all over the floor.
[ Skinner rushes for a filing cabinet and files through it fast.
Bart: I'm the kid that made delinquency an art,
[ He finds Bart's disciplinary file.
Bart: Last name Simpson, first name Bart.
(Maggie sucks in time.)
Bart: I'm here today to introduce the next phase,
The next step in the big Bart craze.
[ A hook slowly approaches from behind
Bart: I've got a dance real easy to do.
I learned it with no rhythm, and so can you.
[ Bart ducks in time as the hook is yanked hard. Cut to Principal Skinner
[ holding the crook; next to him stands Ms. Krabappel, who snaps her finger
[ in frustration.
Bart: So move your body if you've got the notion,
Front to back in a rock-like motion.
Now that you've got it, if you think you can,
Homer: D'oh!
Bart: Do it to the music: That's the Bartman.
[ Bart dances off stage left. Lewis, Martin and Milhouse take center
[ stage, singing and dancing.
Background Singers: Everybody, if you can, do the Bartman.
Bart: Whoa!
Background Singers: Shake your body, turn it out if you can, man.
Bart: Check it out, man!
[ The entire audience of family members (except for Bart's) sway in their
[ seats.
Background Singers: Front to back, to the side, yes you can, can.
Bart: Bartman!
Background Singers: Everybody in the house do the Bartman.
Bart: Uh-huh.
[ Ms. Krabappel unscrews a liquor bottle and hands it to Principal Skinner.
[ He takes a swig, returns it, and shudders.
Background Singers: Everybody, if you can, do the Bartman.
Shake your body, turn it out if you can, man.
Bart: Whoooooooooa, mama!
[ Bart leads everyone out the front door of Springfield Elementary.
Background Singers: Front to back, to the side, yes you can, can.
Bart: Whoa!
Background Singers: Everybody in the house do the Bartman.
[ Zoom in to Bart to a instant change of scene.
[ Bart, in his usual clothes, stands in the corner of a completely white
[ room.
Bart: It wasn't long ago, just a couple of weeks,
I got in trouble, yeah, pretty deep.
Homer was yellin'...
[ Homer's shadow is cast. He yells...
Homer: BART!
[ Marge's shadow also forms.
Bart: Mom was too.
[ Pan over to Homer putting a spoonful of brown glop in his mouth as Marge
[ watches adoringly.
Bart: Because I put mothballs in the beef stew.
[ Homer gags and spits out the glop over the camera.
[
[ Bart's mug shot is taken.
Bart: Punishment time.
[ Flash! Now look to the side...
Bart: In the air lurks gloom.
[ Flash! Thank you very much.
[
[ Bart walks sadly down a black-and-white hallway. Shadows of
[ arms pointing are cast on the wall.
Bart: Sitting by myself, confined to my room.
[ Bart enters the room at the end of the hallway. Bars shut behind
[ him.
[
[ Bart lies face down, on his bed.
Bart: When all else fails, nothin' else left to do,
I turn on the music, so I can feel the groove.
[ Bart lamely turns on the radio. The room brightens into colour, and Bart
[ jumps up, dancing on tiptoe atop his bed.
Bart: Whoooooa!
Background Singers: Move your body, if you've got the notion.
Bart: I'm feelin' the groove now, baby! Bring it back...
Background Singers: Front to back in a rock-like motion.
[ Bart does a flip off a giant poster of Krusty.
Bart: Whoooooooa!
Background Singers: Move you hips from side to side now.
Bart: Do the Bartman!
Background Singers: Don't ya slip...
[ Lisa pokes her head in the door.
Bart: Whoa, Lisa.
Background Singers: ... let your feet glide now.
Bart: Ha!
[ Bart (with Lisa's help) is flung out the window into the night.
Background Singers: If ya got the groove, ya gotta use it.
Bart; Ha, ha ha!
[ Bart hops out the window into the night. He dances along the branch
[ of a tree
Background Singers: Ya got the rhythm in time with the music.
Bart: Ha-ha-ha. Check it out, man.
Background Singers: You just might start a chain reaction.
[ ... falls, then rights himself on a lower branch.
Bart: If you can do the Bart, you're bad like Michael Jackson.
[ Bart falls from the branch
[ ... landing face-down on the streets of downtown Springfield. Behind
[ him, the three other kids dance, as Bart shakes his head and picks himself
[ up.
Background Singers: Everybody, if you can, do the Bartman.
Bart: Everybody...Yeah, do the Bartman!
[ In New York Harbour, the Statue of Liberty and a ferryload of tourists
[ dances with the singers.
Background Singers: Shake your body, turn it out if you can, man.
Bart: Check it out!
[ Back to Springfield, Bart dances off stage left.
Background Singers: Front to back, to the side, yes you can, can.
Bart: Whoooooooooa, mama! I'm bad!
[ The Eiffel Tower in the background, the Bartman storms Paris.
Background Singers: Everybody in the house do the Bartman.
Bart: I'm bad!
[ Back to Springfield.
Background Singers: Do the Bartman.
[ Bart's head pokes in (upside-down) from above.
Bart: Do the Bartman!
[ Adil and the American spy dance as Germans do the Bartman through the
[ (now-crumbled) Berlin Wall.
Bart: Everybody back and forth, from side to side.
[ Back to Springfield.
Background Singers: Do the Bartman.
[ Bart's head pokes in (sideways) from screen right.
Bart: Do the Bartman!
[ Bart leaps into frame.
Bart: Now here's a dance beat that you can't deny.
[ Pull back a bit to reveal several more dancers, all throwing their arms in the air in the dance.
[
[ Homer's head rises from underneath the manhole cover.
Homer: Turn it down! Will you stop that infernal racket?!
[ Everybody yells in Homer's face...
Background Singers: DO THE BARTMAN!
[ Pan upwards to Lisa playing her saxophone, silhouetted against the moon, doing an
[ instrumental solo. Bart pops upward into frame, covering
[ his ears.
Bart: Oh, my ears! Lisa, put the saxophone away!
[ Down below, Bart sneaks over to a `Springfield Dog Pound' truck, filled
[ with canines. With a mischievous grin...
Bart: You can't touch this...
[ ... he opens the door, letting the hounds free.
Bart: I-didn't-do-it-nobody-saw-me-do-it-you-can't-prove-anything.
[ Bart watches the dogs run off into the distance.
Bart: Ooh!
[ One tiny dog runs out from behind Bart's leg and runs away, barking.

[ Bart looks to the side, where the three other kids, arms folded,
[ with a disapproving expression.
[
[ Bart leads his friends marching down the street. Lisa and Bleeding
[ Gums Murphy sit on a stoop playing the saxophone.
Bart: Now I'm in the house, feeling good to be home,
'Til Lisa starts blowing that damn saxophone.
And if it was mine, you know they'd take it away,
But still I'm feeling good, so that's okay.
[ Bart and pals walk past a store whose door is locked shut, gratings
[ locked across the window - "Open 24 hours".
Bart: I'm up in my room, just singin' a song,
Listen to the kick drum, kickin' along.
Yeah, Lisa likes jazz. She's their number one fan,
But I know I'm bad, 'cause I do the Bartman.
[ Begin freeze-frame delight. Bart and his pals skid into downtown
[ Springfield, where a large crowd has already gathered. Lots of dancing.
Background Singers: Everybody, if you can, do the Bartman.
Bart: Hey, everybody!
[ Assorted desert folks (and their camel) do an Egyptian version
[ of the Bartman in front of the pyramids.
Background Singers: Shake your body, turn it out if you can, man.
Bart: Need I remind you?
[ Back to Springfield.
Background Singers: Front to back, to the side, yes you can, can.
Bart: Ooh....Aah...do...the...
Background Singers: Everybody in the house do the Bartman.
Bart: Bart... man. Hup!
[ The Bartman is danced on top the Great Wall of China.
Bart: Check it out.
Background Singers: Do the Bartman.
[ Back to Springfield.
[ Bart leans into frame holding a phone to his ear.
Bart: Do the Bartman!
[ Moe's Tavern. The "customers" shake their butts to the beat while still seated.
Bart: Everybody back and forth, from side to side.
[ Barney leads the bar denizens out into the street.
Background Singers: Do the Bartman.
Bart: Do the Bartman!
[ Ms. Krabappel leads a conga line. (The Springfield Power Plant cooling
[ towers loom in the background.)
Bart: She can do it, he can do it, and so can I.
[ Bart rides on a golf cart inside the Plant as assorted employees (some in
[ radiation suits, some not) do the Bartman. The cart driver munches
[ a donut.
Background Singers: If ya got the groove, ya gotta use it.
Bart: Dooby, dooby, dooby, dooby, dooby, bop-bop-bop!
Background Singers: Ya got the rhythm in time with the music.
Bart: Dabba doo, dabba doo dab it!
Background Singers: You just might start a chain reaction.
Bart: Dabba doo...Dabba doo....
[ In the workers' distraction, a glowing plutonium rod slips from its
[ holder.
[
[ (Flash)
[
[ Bart's skeleton rises into frame. The picture fades back to normal
[ and we get to see a normal Bart.
Bart: Hee, hee, hee!
[ Bart raises a remote control.
Bart: I'm the Bartman.
[ Click!
[
[ Krusty's on the set with "Krusty Brand Pork Products" as his ham and bacon
[ grow arms and legs and dance on the grill.
Background Singers: Everybody, if you can, do the Bartman.
Krusty: Hoo-hoo-heh-heh-heh!
Bart: Swing it, baby.
[ Pull back. It's the television set in Sideshow Bob's cell, who sits
[ angrily as the other prisoners dance in the background.
Background Singers: Shake your body, turn it out if you can, man.
Bart: Hup!
[ Back to Sideshow Bob's TV set, which now shows Itchy and Scratchy.
[ Itchy hits Scratchy with a club, Scratchy strikes back with a mallet.
Background Singers: Front to back, to the side, yes you can, can.
Bart: Ha, ha, ha!
[ They then both discard their weapons and each hold out a lit bomb.
[ The bombs explode, leaving their skeletons behind.
Background Singers: Everybody in the house do the Bartman.
Bart: Oh, yeah!
[ Kent Brockman silently reads the news as Bart skids past.
Background Singers: Do the Bartman.
[ The inset of people dancing on Springfield town square fills the screen.
Background Singers: Move your body, if you've got the notion.
Bart: You call that dancing? Ha!
[ Mr.Burns dances in the street, but he's being held by four people (Can't dance himself...apparently!)
Background Singers: Shake your body 'til ya got the right emotion.

Bart: Watch this move.
Background Singers: Do the Bartman.
[ Jacques waltzes past with Helen, who turns into Princess Kashmir,
[ then turns into some other woman, then turns into Karl. Only
[ after dancing several more steps does Jacques react.
Background Singers: Shake your hips from side to side now. Do the Bartman.
Bart: [dancing offscreen]
Ooh, uh, uh, ugh, ugh, hup, hup. Yeah!
Background Singers: Don't ya slip, let your feet glide now.
Do the Bartman.
[ Reverend Lovejoy and Satan dance next to each other in the street.
Background Singers: If ya got the groove, ya gotta use it.
Do the Bartman.
Bart: Ha, ha ha! Swing it!
[ Homer, Marge, Lisa and Maggie do the Simpsons Shuffle as the statue of
[ Jebediah Springfield waves in the background.
Background Singers: Shake your body in the time with the music. Do the Bartman. You just might start a chain reaction. Do the Bartman.
Bart: Eat your heart out, Michael!
[ Springfield town square is packed with people dancing.
[
[ Bart is tossed into the air by the adoring crowd...
Bart: Whoops!
[ ... and he lands on his feet, dancing.
Background Singers: Everybody in the house do the Bartman.
Do the Bartman.
Bart: Ha-ha-ha!
[ Bart's orange shirt and shorts change into his blue suit.
[ The music suddenly stops and a green sleeve yanks Bart out of the town square.
[
[
[ Ms. Krabappel carries Bart across the stage and sets him down behind
[ the curtain. She then walks away.
Bart: Oh, wow, man.
[ Bland music plays


-----
Deep, Deep Trouble

(The Silhouette of an open door is seen, and Bart's shadow flies through it. Strangely, the trademark spikes atop his head are gone. When the door shuts, it casts a shadow of prison bar across Bart's face. He looks at us, the top of his head obscured in shadow.)

Bart: Let me start at the start. Let's move right along. You can all sing along at the sound of the gong.
(We cut to Itchy slamming Scratchy with a mallet. The sound of a gong is heard.)
Once upon a time about a week ago, All of the sudden, trouble started to grow... (The shadow of Homer is cast across Bart's face. The scene cuts to black. The face of a clook is seen.)
Alarm was buzzin', I was snoozin'...
(The room lights up, revealing the face of the clock is Bart's Krusty Alarm Clock. Bart rolls over in bed and pulls the covers over his head. Santa's Little Helper appears when Bart pulls his blankets.)
Supposed to get up now, but I was refusing. To let reality become an intrusion. 'Cause in dreamy-dreamland I was cruisin' ...
(We see Bart's dream. A Homer-looking King Kong stands atop a building as Bart flies a biplane. Bart shoots Homer Kong off the building.)
But the buzz kept buzzin'. My head kept fuzzin'. Gave the radio a throw and heard an explosion...
(Bart, still in bed, tosses his Krusty Clock away. It connects with something offscreen.)
Homer: D'oh!
Bart: I opened up my eyes to my surprise, There stood Homer and his temperature rised.
(Homer stands with his hair mussed, holding his head. He begins to look angry, and his skin turns red. Bart sits on his bed, clutching Santa's Little Helper, smiling weakly, covered in Homer's shadow.)
I will chillin', he was yellin', Face all distored, 'Cause he was propellin'...
(Homer leans into Bart, frowning and gritting his teeth.)
I said I'm real sorry...
(Cut back to Bart in the shadows of his room.)
That didn't cut it. I started to protest, but Dad said...
(We cut back to Bart and Homer. Homer stands above him, pointing outside.)
Homer: Shut it! Get up, mow the lawn! Move it on the double! 'Cause if you don't, you're in deep, deep, trouble!
(Homer points and then makes a fist at Bart. Bart falls out of bed. Bart rolls down a long flight of stairs, landing in a courtroom, presided over by a Homer-looking Judge, a Homer-Lawyer, a Homer-Bailiff, and a jury of Homers.)
Back-up Singers: Trouble!
(The Homer-Judge, Homer-Lawyer, and Homer-Jury all point at Bart.)
Back-up Singers: Deep, deep trouble!
(Chief Wiggum appears on the witness stand, holding a skateboard labeled "A." Principal Skinner follows him, holding a spraypaint can labeled "B." The headless Jebediah Springfield statue follows Skinner, holding its own head, labeled "C.")
Bart: So I'm in the front yard mowing like crazy,
(Todd Flanders rolls by on a sit-down mower.)
Sweating like a pig and the sun is blazy.
(Homer tries to pull the door open, hitting himself with it.)
Homer's in the driveway, gettin' in the car with Mom and Lis, I hope they're going real far.
(The next exchange is cut between Bart in the shadows of his room and in the front yard, and Homer in the car.)
Bart: Then Dad yells ---
Homer: Bart!
Bart: And I go, "Yo!" He goes ---
Homer: You done yet?
Bart: And I go, "No." So he goes ---
Homer: Oh, your're too slow!
(Homer hits his head on the horn. Bart leans on the mower, sending it forward. He falls down.)
Bart: So I step on the gas, speed up the mow. Didn't see that sprinkler underneath that tree ---
(The mower connects with a sprinkler head.)
Wham!
(Water shoots out the broken sprinkler head and soaks Bart.)
Rainin' on me! I go, "Whoa!" Homer goes ---
Homer: D'oh! Now you can't go, to the boat show!
(Homer pulls the car away as Bart sinks in the mud.)
Bart: Soaked to the bone, standin' in a puddle...
(We cut back to Bart in the shadows as water rises from below screen.)
No one needs to tell me I'm in deep, deep trouble...
Back-up Singers: Trouble!
(He runs off down the hall, into a room, slamming the door behind him. He dives into another room and another and another, slamming the doors behind the doors behind him as well.)
Back-up Singers: Deep, deep trouble!
(Bart is in complete darkness when the lights are suddenly turned on. He faces Moe, Principal Skinner, Homer, Mrs. Krabappel, Chief Wiggum, and Sideshow Bob. They all pull a switch labeled "Extreme High Voltage." Bart, in the electric chair, gets violently shocked. We cut to Bart on the front lawn, drinking a squishee, wearing sunglasses, and listening to a personal stereo.)
Bart: As soon as they're gone, I'm stretched on a lawn,
(It's revealed that Bart is lying naked on the lawn, with his stereo acting as an impromptu fig leaf.)
Looking at the sky with my sunshades on. Now I never ever claimed that I was a smarty...
(Bart shakes his squishee cup to get the last bit, and the ice and syrup fall all over his face. He springs up.)
But inspiration hits me: " Let's have a party!"
(We wide out to see Flanders, an old couple, Martin, Sherri and Terri, and Reverend Lovejoy are standing in front of the Simpsons lawn, gaping at the naked Bart. His personal stereo drops and he's completely naked. We cut to Bart at the telephone, making a call.)
I called up my posse. They were here in a flash...
(Bart opens his front door. Martin, Milhouse, and Richard stand at the front step.)
They brought all their pals...
(We wide out to reveal that a giant crowd of kids stands behind them. Bart closes the door and puts his back to it, but it's knocked down in a stampede of kids.)
We started to thrash!
(We see a shot of the hose at night, each of the lit windows has sihouettes of dancing kids in it.)
There was rompin', and stompin' An occasional crash. A fist fight or two, and Nintendo for cash.
(A video game boxer smashes the other in the face. We wide out and see that Martin is playing Nelson in Nintendo. Martin holds out his hand, gesturing to be paid. Nelson smashes him in the face.)
We raided the fridge. Dogs raided the trash.
(The wiped-out refridgerator closes, revealing Wendell standing by Santa's Little Helper, eating out of the trashcan. Wendell throws up in the can. We cut to Bart in the shadows of his room.)
I got a little worried when the windows got smashed.
(Homer's car pulls up in front of the house.)
The next thing you know Mom and Dad are home. The kids disappear, and I'm all alone.
(Bart lies in front of the door as the house is in ruins.)
Everything issilent except for my moan And the low bluesy tone of a saxophone.
(The door opens. Homer, Marge, and Maggie stand in the doorway as Lisa plays her sax. Lisa, Homer and Marge turn from Bart to talk to each other.)
They look at me, then they go into a huddle, Get the sinking sensation I'm in deep, deep trouble.
Back-up Singers: Trouble!
(The family's silhouettes close in on Bart. We cut to Bart crashing through the top of a vash red cavern with fire shooting out from underneath. He's in hell.)
Back-up Singers: Deep, deep trouble!
(He screams and then his shirt catches on a peg that's part of a Wheel of Misfortune. The Devil stands below. Each peg is labeled "Eternal Damnation."
Back-up Singers: You're in trouble!
(It lands on "Re-Incarnation.")
Bart: Reincarnation?
Devil: D'oh!
(Bart smiles and is beamed away. He reappears as a snail. We then cut back to Bart in the shadows of his room.)
Bart: There's a little epilogue to my tale of sadness. I was dragged down the street by His Royal Dadness.
(Homer drags Bart down a Springfield street, past Moe's, where Moe, Barney, Larry, and Sam wave to him.)
We rounded the corner and came to a stop. Threw me inside Jake's barber shop.
(The barber smiles, holding his scissors.)
I said, please sir just a little off the top...
(The barber starts on Bart's hair with clippers, as locks fall down. Bart screams.)
Dude shaved me bare, gave me a lollipop...
(We cut back to Bart in the shadows of his room.)
So on my head there's nothing but stubble...
(Bart leans his head down, revealing he's bald.)
Man, I hate bein' in deep, deep trouble!
Back-up Singers: Trouble! Deep, deep trouble!
(We pull out, revealing a crowd of people in the darkness, laughing and pointing at Bart.)
Bart: Oh, come on, man.


---
Springfield, Springfield
Milhouse & Bart: Springfield, Springfield, it's a hell of a town;
The schoolyard's up and the shopping mall's down!
The stray dogs go to the animal pound,
Bart: Springfield, Springfield!
Milhouse: Springfield, Springfield!
Sailor: New York, New York!
Bart: [spoken] New York is that-a-way, man! (Points)
Sailor: [spoken] Thanks, kid! (Runs offscreen)
Both: It's a hell of a...toooown!
---
Testify
Bart: I was a sinner, a real bad kid.
What thou shalt not, I shalt did.
Neighbours cat I tried to neuter,
took a whizz on the school computer.
Sherri & Terri: He took a whizz, oh yes he did!
Bart: But now I've changed, you can't deny,
come on up - and testify!
Sherri & Terri: Testify! Testify! Come on up and testify!
Abe: My hip's misbehavin'!
Sherri & Terri: Testify!
Patty: Got a nicotine craving!
Sherri & Terri: Testify!
Frink: There's a cramp in my glavin!
Sherri & Terri: Testify!
Bart & Sherri & Terri: Testify!
All: Testify!
Milhouse: My glasses make me look like a geek.
Bart: Now you'll get the girls you seek.
Sherri & Terri: We'll see you at Makeout Creek.
All (Except Bart): Bart's the boy of the hour,
he's got the power!
So raise your voice and don't be shy,
Test-a, test-a,
All: Test-a-fyyyyyyy!
Testify! Testify! Come on up and Testify!
Milhouse: (spoken) Thank you Bart for fixing my vision,
now I see with total precision!
Bart: (spoken) Song's over Milhouse, but you're welcome.


Tango Takes Two
Lisa: What have I done?
Bart: What they wanted you to
Lisa: Skinner betrayed me!
Bart: But a tango it takes two!

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