Bart Simpson! Bart the One and Only A tribute to Bart Simpson
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Bart Simpson!

"Hello, Moe's Tavern...!"


Here you will
find a list of all of Bart's prank calls...

(Some Enchanted Evening)
Bart with Lisa and Maggie
Phone call for Al...Al Coholic...is there an Al Coholic
here?
Wait a minute...
Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass, if I ever
find out who you are, I'm gonna kill you!
Bart and Lisa laugh

 
 (Some Enchanted Evening)
Bart with Lisa and Maggie
Oliver Clothesoff! Call for Oliver Clothesoff!
Marge picks up the extension and hears:
Listen, you lousy bum, if I ever get a hold of you, I
swear I'll cut your belly open!

 
 (Homer's Odyssey)
Bart with Lisa
Uh, is I.P. Freely here? Hey, everybody, I.P. Freely!
Wait a minute...
Listen to me you lousy bum. When I get a hold of you,
you're dead. I swear I'm gonna slice your heart in half!
Bart and Lisa laugh

 
 (Moaning Lisa)
Bart with Lisa
Uh, Jacques Strap! Hey guys, I'm looking for a Jacques Strap!
Oh, wait a minute...Jacques Strap
It's you isn't it ya cowardly little runt? When I get a
hold of you, I'm gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood!

Bart laughs
 
 (One Fish, Two Fish,
Blowfish, Blue Fish)
Bart with Lisa
Hey, is there a Butz here? Seymour Butz? Hey,
everybody, I wanna Seymour Butz!
Oh, wait a minute..
.
Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When I get my
hands on you, I'm gonna put out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!

Bart and Lisa laugh
 
 (Principal Charming)
Bart (in Principal Skinner's
office)
Uh, Homer Sexual? Aw, come on, come on, one of you guys has gotta be Homer Sexual!
Homer says "Don't look at me!"
Oh, no...
You rotten little punk! If I ever get a hold of you, I'll sink my teeth into
your cheek and rip your face off!

Skinner, on the other end of the line, says "You'll do what, young man?"
 
 (Blood Feud)
Mike Rotch!
Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?
Listen to me, you little puke. One of these days, I'm
going to catch you, and I'm going to carve my name on your back with an ice
pick!

Bart and Lisa laugh
 
 (Treehouse of Horror II)
Bart with Mrs. Krabappel and one of
the Sherri/Terri twins
Uh, hey, everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly
face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt
Oh, wait a minute...

Bart laughs; Mrs. Krabappel sees him and then laughs as well
 
 (Flaming Moe's)
Bart
Uh, Hugh Jass? Oh, somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass!
There is a Hugh Jass at Moe's; he takes the call
 
 (Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk)
Bart
Bea O'Problem! Bea O'Problem! Come on, guys, do I have
a Bea O'Problem here?

Barney says "You sure do!"
Oh...it's you, isn't it?
Listen, you. When I get a hold of you, I'm going to use
your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!
Bart laughs

 
 (New Kid on the Block)
Bart
Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?
Barney says "Maybe your standards are too high!"
You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm
going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!
Bart tells Moe his name is Jimbo Jones and gives his own address: Jimbo and
Laura Powers are making out in Bart's living room

 
 (New Kid on the Block)
Laura Powers with Bart
Ivana Tinkle? Ivana Tinkle? All right, everybody, put
down your glasses, Ivana Tinkle!

Laura and Bart laugh
 
 (The PTA Disbands)
This isn't at Moe's; Moe is
taking over as the substitute teacher for Mrs. Krabappel's class during the
strike
OK, when I call your name, uh, you say "present"
or "here". Er, no, say "present". Ahem, Anita Bath?
The students in the classroom laugh
All right, settle down. Anita Bath here?
More laughs
All right, fine, fine. Maya Buttreeks!
Still more laughs
Hey, what are you laughing at? What? Oh, oh, I get it, I
get it. It's my big ears, isn't it, kids? Isn't it? Well, children, I can't help
that!
Moe runs out of the classroom crying as Bart crosses Moe's name off of a list
of what are now former substitute teachers
 
Although
these didn't include Bart, I Put them in because they're still funny:
(Homer the Smithers)
Mr. Burns says "I'm looking
for a Mr. Smithers, first name Wayland"
Oh, so, you're looking for a Mr. Smithers, eh? First name
Wayland, is it? Listen to me, you; when I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your
eyes and stick 'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you,
okay? Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!

 
(Bart on the Road)
(Homer) Hello, I'd like to speak
with a Mr. Snotball, first name Eura

(Moe) Eura Snotball?
(Homer) What? How dare you! If I find out who this is, I'll staple a flag to
your butt and mail you to Iran!

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